And You Thought YOU Had A Bad Day

, Have you ever had one of those days where one single thing goes wrong and you feel like it's mucked your entire day up until you lay your head down on your pillow?  Yeah.  Me too, only not today.

Today's story is brought to you by my Three Stooges.  The boys I have grown to love like brothers.  One more than the other two, but that's neither here nor there because If I tell Roy he's not my favorite he'll probably sink into the fetal position and sob for days.  That's just how he is.

Anycrybaby...

On Monday I bitched on twitter about having to book travel for 8 different people going to 1 place from 3 different locations.  By Tuesday I had everyone lined out, flights booked, and itineraries distributed accordingly.  When that was done I took a deep breath and thanked God that I was finished and nobody had to be stabbed.

See, there was a meeting in Houston on Wednesday that started at 10:30AM, and I'm not sure if you've ever done flight booking for 8 people all at once to come from 3 different places in the country to be at the same place at the same time, but it's nearly impossible without inconveniencing 8 out of 8 people.  Everyone was put out by this quick trip because everyone is really busy.  I get that, but sometimes you don't have choices, people.

Back on task:  flights booked!

This morning, I was getting ready for work and I looked at the clock.  Everyone should be at an airport about to board their flights.  I popped onto facebook for a tick and the first thing I read was that Kozul & Roy's flight was cancelled.  Fantastic.  Two down, 6 to go.  At least if 6 of us were showing up, that would be fine, right?

I called Kozul, who is normally "funny" and he said "yeah, I'm not fucking kidding you.  I'm so pissed I can't even joke about it".  Did I mention that they had to drive from Grand Rapids to Chicago to get on the plane?  The plane that never left the Midway Airport?  No?  Okay, well, yeah.  They did.  And two hours they drove back to Grand Rapids.  I told Kozul that I was going to show up to hte office in my pajamas and slippers because, well, there's not going to be anyone there, but then I realized that the Evil Receptionist at the title company across the hall would probably rat me out, so I changed my mind.

I get into the office and do my usual when I suddenly get a text from Howard:

Howard:  Which is worse?  Leaving your driver's license @ texas tubes, missing a plane, getting pulled over without a license, driving to Houston or changing a tire in 100 degrees in Houston?

Jenn:  Jesus fucking...Are you near Houston?  I'm so sorry, man.

Howard:  I'm in Houston I can actually see the hotel but I am way late sweaty and dirty and riding on a donut.

Jenn:  Don't worry about your driver's license.  I'll call Texas Tubes and have them fedex it.

I never heard back, assuming he had changed his tire, hustled his way to the meeting and I would hear from him tomorrow.

As I left for lunch I texted him and told him to call me when he got a minute.  I was going to tell him that I took care of his driver's license situation.  A few minutes later he called.  "Are you on a break"?  "NO.  I'm not at the meeting".  I knew in that split second that things were not going to be good.

I asked him what happened and he described to me the series of events.

He got to the airport with plenty of time.  As he walked up to security he realized that he didn't have his driver's license.  He left it at the tube place as collateral for his tube (they usually keep your car keys).  He didn't realize it until he tried to get through security.  He immediately picked up his phone and called his girlfriend.  She rushed to the airport with his passport.  He got through security and dashed to the gate only to find that the plane doors were closed and the plane was about to back up from the terminal.

He ran back out of the airport and talked to his girlfriend again.  She asked what he was going to do and he told her that he had to drive.  He hopped in his Cadillac and hauled ass.  As he told me the story, he explained that he was driving like a maniac, weaving in and out of cars, cutting people off, driving as fast as he could.  At one point, he cut a car off and nearly clipped their front bumper.  

When he looked in his mirror he saw that it was a cop.  Naturally, he was pulled over.  He handed the officer his passport and insurance.  The first thing the cop asked was "don't you have a license?", which is where Howard began his tale to the officer.  Explaining that he left it at the tube place.  Then the cop said "are you on your way to the airport?", to which Howard said "No.  I'm leaving.  I just missed my flight and I have a meeting at 10:30 I have to be at in Houston".  Howard told me that the cop looked at his watch, handed him his documents back and said "don't speed until you get out of Austin.  Be careful".  For some reason, the cop was understanding enough this morning to not write him a ticket for speeding, reckless driving and being an asshole in general.

Howard continued on his journey to Houston.  I would have turned around, gone home and crawled back in bed with a bottle of vodka and Xanax.  He's better than me like that.

As he's telling me all of this I'm cracking up, not because of the hilarity factor, but mostly because it's like "can all of this shit really happen to one person in real life"?

As he pulled into Houston, he started getting closer to the hotel.  This is when he texted me.  He blew out his tire and was no more than 300 yards away from the meeting.  He said there was a big open field between him and the hotel.  There was over grown bushes, weeds and God knows what else.  He figured his only shot to make the meeting (20 minutes late) was to ditch his car on the side of (who knows what) the road in Houston and sprint over the river and through the woods to get to the meeting.  He stopped and thought again.  If he bolted through the forest of possible poison ivy and snakes and made it to the meeting, he would show up embarrassingly late, sweating like a hog and pissed off at the world.  Not really the first impression he wanted to make on the CEO of our company.  He also thought that if he left his car where the flat happened, his car would be towed or even worse: stolen.  He opted not to go to the meeting, but to change the tire and put on his donut.  He gimped around Houston in his Cadillac searching for a tire place.

While he was telling me all of this, he was sitting in a Firestone waiting for his car.  The poor guy drove 200 miles to change his fucking tire.

I honestly wanted to cry for him.  After all he's been through today, he'll get to sit in rush hour traffic on his way home, probably in Houston AND in Austin.

At least his driver's license will be here tomorrow, because I'm awesome like that.